David Stevens

Archive for January, 2014|Monthly archive page

Unknown short Wes Anderson film

In Uncategorized on January 28, 2014 at 8:37 am

I was not aware that Wes Anderson was a contributor to Bucketman’s oeuvre. One may think Bucketman the antithesis of quirkiness, favouring direct story telling for human beings. However, as Bucketman has said in the past, “Hipsters gotta hip”, so who can hold it against them. Or him. Either of him. When aliens invade Earth, I for one do not want Anderson to be directing the defence. However, despite his well established credentials in alien fighting and other important things (Thunderbirds, UFO, Captain Scarlet, Space:1999), ultimately I have to concede that Wes Anderson would do a better job than Gerry Anderson, largely because Gerry Anderson is dead. Still, it was a close run thing. The advice I would give Mr Anderson (pre-posthumous) is to try to get some alien fighting product into his resume, so that on the day film makers must stand up and direct something useful, he is not found lacking.


Australia’s Film History: jingoism and the lead up to World War 1

In Uncategorized on January 27, 2014 at 9:49 am

Australia is a multi-cultural society, but this archival footage reveals the jingoism present in the days leading to the First World War – hardly an indication of some halcyon Golden era.
In this week of Australia Day, and in this Centenary of ANZAC Day, it is worth reminding ourselves of the way it was, before it wasn’t, when it was something, rather than something else. Who can argue with that?

Here is a poem for Australia Day

In Uncategorized on January 26, 2014 at 7:43 am

Today is Australia Day. You can tell by all of the people walking around dressed in Australian flags. Otherwise, you might not know that it is Australia Day, or that you are in Australia. And you wouldn’t want to make a mistake about that, there could be consequences. I still remember when Australia Day was a dusty little public holiday tucked away towards the back of the summer pack, hey a day off, thank you very much. Now it is a thing. Not unlike a sad party thing. So here is an alleged poem, for Australia Day.


It was Flag Day

so we wrapped ourselves in our flags

and went to the pub.

Everybody else had the same idea, but.

All the flags were the same

because we are all Flaglanders.

It would have been nice to wrap myself

in the flag of difference

but I was too scared.

Everyone looked the same.

The fun idea had become

A Sad Party Thing.

It doesn’t matter.

The flag unites us.

Our fear of looking different unites us.

All eyes are wary on Flag Day.

Everyone smiles with their mouths

as they lift their beers,

but all those eyes are looking about.

And those eyes are quick.

You don’t want to stand out.

Not on Flag Day.

There are no excuses.

It is not “I pay my taxes” day.

It is not “I am a human being, I have rights” day.

It is fucking Flag Day.


You sad party thing.

Counselling the Radiator

In Uncategorized on January 26, 2014 at 3:36 am

I hate
the way you radiate
energy and power
how you excrete
and make weird noises
on the hour.
Your functionality
does not excuse
your lack of personality.
You are not everything to me
when that is what I demand
of everything.
You do not radiate love, radiator,
nor compassion or understanding.
So like a man
to think you can get away with fulfilling one mission.
I don’t want you to fix everything.
I want you to listen.

There can be no news better than this

In Uncategorized on January 24, 2014 at 5:37 am

The main function of any Olympic Games, Summer or Winter, is to showcase two legendary boofheads, Roy Slaven and HG “Immortal” Nelson, so it was with great pleasure that I read they shall indeed be part of the Australian television broadcast. The year just keeps getting better and better

a great opportunity to catch up with old friends newly released from prison

Happy Day

In Uncategorized on January 23, 2014 at 3:57 am

An e mail awaited me when I woke this morning:

Hi, David Stevens,

We greatly enjoyed reading your story.

It’s my pleasure to tell you we’d like to include it in issue # …

Nothing like a bit of validation to lift the spirits! My first SFWA rate sale. Details to follow once everything is confirmed.

Seeking the divine

In Uncategorized on January 7, 2014 at 8:42 pm

We seek God in beauty. Some look to the purity of mathematics, and the fact that here is a language in which the (known) complex truths of the universe can be expressed elegantly, though perhaps the greatest wonder is that there is a language in which they can be expressed at all. Others look to the way all things mesh in a complex working pattern that speaks of reason going up and going down.
All of these pale next to the everyday poetry of the English language. Just to steal a few recent examples from overheard exchanges with, oh, I don’t know, some random stranger and my their children:

The rubbish goes in
the bin
not on
the bin,
the bin

Or the plaintive cry that echoes through the ages

Oh where
is my clean

The simplest is my favourite, and is what gives me comfort at 3am

There’s poo
on my shoe

Some will argue that these rhymes in-built into the language are mere happenstance and not demonstrative of anything, that for proof of the divine one must reveal a deeper poetry, expressed more subtly than in rhyme. Look no further. What could resonate deeper in the human soul than this cry of anguish, taken again at random from a snippet of a television show that I could not possibly have been watching? The scream of despair from a dismissed suitor, banished by Desiree from “The Bachelorette:

I’m not just a magician!

I am at peace, regardless of what comes my way today.