Mormon boys

Lonely Mormons far from home wandering through the great apostasy. Tempted by Coca Cola, shunning coffee and other like beverages, is your truth too good for me? You rush to share it with the pretty Asian girls. Was there nothing on those buried gold plates Elohim wanted you to share with me? I’ll just have […]

Solitaire

Everyone has different reasons that bring them here, but mostly, the differences are superficial. The truth is, man turns to solitaire for one reason – the desire to bring order out of chaos. Not to avoid working on that difficult next draft? No. Who are you? What a trivial response! Katie Holmes. I’m out of […]

Sralya Day

Coming soon to a local park / race track / footy field / beach near you: Australia Day. You can tell by all of the people walking around dressed in Australian flags. Otherwise, you might not know that it is Australia Day, or that you are in Australia. And you wouldn’t want to make a […]

His “Dutch” Period

In centuries to come, when literary experts comment upon my oeuvre, as they no doubt shall, they will remark of my Dutch period that my characters spend much of their time climbing up or down stairs, and complaining about aches in their legs. In the words of Dr Zachary Smith, the pain, the pain … […]

How the Australian Cricket team could FEED THE WORLD

I dream of an ink vampire, draining chinese ideograms, celtic crosses, pictures of dogs, MOM, southern crosses, rebel flags, big boobed naked girls, meaningless epigrams, fanned cards, LOVE, band names, HATE, gothic script, military insignia, stupid lyrics, astrological signs, hula dancers, horned devils, feathered chiefs, bible quotes, affirmations, garish sleeves.  How it thrives now, after […]

Johannes Cabal, Devotee

Despite myself, despite (or because of) the smart arsery of the humour, I have enjoyed the three published volumes of the adventures of Johannes Cabal, Necromancer. Each time I have said, ‘Enough’, only to go crawling back for another serving. Noticing the third edition was published in 2011, more than enough time to have allowed […]

Dachshund

My eldest daughter dreamed that we bought a dachshund. She cuddled it at the breeder’s, and everyone was very happy with the new sausage dog. Next in the dream, I was driving the car with the family. My daughter looked out and saw our new dog on the road. I saw it too, accelerated and […]