Happy Australia Day

I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be a thing. Why does stuff have to change? It used to be a dusty little public holiday tucked away at the end of the summer school holidays, a final gasp. Now its concerts and loyalty tests and mass barbecues. We didn’t used to wave flags, we all knew […]

School camp

The school camp was held in another universe. The cabin was small but the huge moon pouring through the window swelled it with liquid light. I could not sleep with the drilling of mosquitoes. I could not sleep this far from home. I had to lie in the tedium, desperate for the hours to pass. […]

Tips for good living

In this modern hurly burly world, it is important to have a code to live by. These are the tips I give my children: 1. Don’t marry an evil person. 2. Don’t eat candy you find lying around. 3. Remember, guns don’t kill people. Mostly, its the bullets. 4. You know those bestest ever bestest […]

Unknown short Wes Anderson film

I was not aware that Wes Anderson was a contributor to Bucketman’s oeuvre. One may think Bucketman the antithesis of quirkiness, favouring direct story telling for human beings. However, as Bucketman has said in the past, “Hipsters gotta hip”, so who can hold it against them. Or him. Either of him. When aliens invade Earth, […]

Here is a poem for Australia Day

Today is Australia Day. You can tell by all of the people walking around dressed in Australian flags. Otherwise, you might not know that it is Australia Day, or that you are in Australia. And you wouldn’t want to make a mistake about that, there could be consequences. I still remember when Australia Day was […]

Counselling the Radiator

I hate the way you radiate energy and power how you excrete heat and make weird noises on the hour. Your functionality does not excuse your lack of personality. You are not everything to me when that is what I demand of everything. You do not radiate love, radiator, nor compassion or understanding. So like […]