Happy Australia Day

I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be a thing. Why does stuff have to change? It used to be a dusty little public holiday tucked away at the end of the summer school holidays, a final gasp. Now its concerts and loyalty tests and mass barbecues. We didn’t used to wave flags, we all knew […]

School camp

The school camp was held in another universe. The cabin was small but the huge moon pouring through the window swelled it with liquid light. I could not sleep with the drilling of mosquitoes. I could not sleep this far from home. I had to lie in the tedium, desperate for the hours to pass. […]

Tips for good living

In this modern hurly burly world, it is important to have a code to live by. These are the tips I give my children: 1. Don’t marry an evil person. 2. Don’t eat candy you find lying around. 3. Remember, guns don’t kill people. Mostly, its the bullets. 4. You know those bestest ever bestest […]

Unknown short Wes Anderson film

I was not aware that Wes Anderson was a contributor to Bucketman’s oeuvre. One may think Bucketman the antithesis of quirkiness, favouring direct story telling for human beings. However, as Bucketman has said in the past, “Hipsters gotta hip”, so who can hold it against them. Or him. Either of him. When aliens invade Earth, […]

Here is a poem for Australia Day

Today is Australia Day. You can tell by all of the people walking around dressed in Australian flags. Otherwise, you might not know that it is Australia Day, or that you are in Australia. And you wouldn’t want to make a mistake about that, there could be consequences. I still remember when Australia Day was […]

Counselling the Radiator

I hate the way you radiate energy and power how you excrete heat and make weird noises on the hour. Your functionality does not excuse your lack of personality. You are not everything to me when that is what I demand of everything. You do not radiate love, radiator, nor compassion or understanding. So like […]

Do you come here often?

Your story-telling style is witty, keep up the good work! Your story-telling style is bravo, keep doing what you`re doing! Your writing style is witty, keep it up! Your story-telling style is bravo, keep up the good work! Your story-telling style is spectacular, keep up the good work! Your humoristic style is bravo, keep it […]

Hip to the max

Don’t say I’m no hep cat, I’m hip to where the youngsters are at. I keep myself youthful by staying in touch with my inner child and staying alert to the latest jive. Wanna stay young, have to keep with it, dog! Been listening to Katy Perry singing Roar … (Do you get the feeling […]

Cheerful Apocalypse

“But David”, I hear you say, “you drag us down with your dismal ends of the world, your Cormac McCarthy, your environmental collapse, your negativity. What about a cheerful apocalypse?” Girls and boys and mutants, look no further! “And it won’t be a pretty sight” cha cha cha … … (Thank you Daylight Savings and […]