David Stevens

Posts Tagged ‘stress’

I had a dream …

In Uncategorized on December 29, 2017 at 12:57 pm

I had a dream, and it was bloody awful. I blame my younger daughters. They were discussing stress dreams, so then I went off and had one. I was in India, catching a bunch of trains, and every time I was on a platform I saw someone die. People just leaping into trains. I won’t say what it looked like afterwards (no, save that for my fiction). How many dreams have I had over the years about missed trains, and chasing trains, and being on the wrong platform. And then, I could not remember where I was staying. And then, I could not remember when I had to catch the plane home. And then …

Well, none of that is any fun. But I did have this other dream. I dreamed I was Batman. Me and the rest of the extended Justice League were lying on my lounge room floor. I said, I can’t remember my real name. Is it Mark? No, its Jerk, one of the JLA members replied. I said, No it isn’t, it’s Bruce Wayne, I remember now. (Ha, fixed them. Jerk.) Then there was a bit about an atrophied organ that had been removed but with which I could communicate because of its proximity.

Perhaps these are not the things to share?

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Tips for good living

In Uncategorized on February 13, 2014 at 11:27 pm

In this modern hurly burly world, it is important to have a code to live by. These are the tips I give my children:

1. Don’t marry an evil person.

2. Don’t eat candy you find lying around.

3. Remember, guns don’t kill people. Mostly, its the bullets.

4. You know those bestest ever bestest friends you love so much now? Five minutes after you leave school, you’ll never see them again. Friends are replaceable. So is money, but you have to work to get that.

7. If you hear a scary noise outside, stay inside. And take off that red shirt.

8. Lots of the stuff your parents tell you will turn out to be right, which is very very annoying.

9. Let it go. Let it all go.

10. Don’t. You will get caught.

11. If your plane is about to crash, try and be floaty.

12. Don’t start a land war in south east Asia.

13. Don’t get a tattoo with your girl/boy friend’s name, because they are hard to change. Get a generic one, like “Boyfriend” or “I heart Girlfriend”.

14. Flags are not worth dying for, and taste like shit.

15. Stephen King needs to find characters who are not best selling authors.

16. Don’t tease vegans, they bite.

17. It is possible to own too many books about wars. And to read ‘The Day of the Triffids’ too often.

18. Tolerance is no excuse.

19. Keep the door closed to prevent rats come in.

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