Too often I just settle, but now I wanted more. I find it easy to commit, I’m prepared to put in the hard yards once the initial blush has worn off, but it occurred to me, why am I doing this even when there was no fist blush. Back in university days, a friend studying accounting used to rattle on about sunk costs, and not throwing good after bad, and his words returned to me.

I thought I was doing everything right – both broadening my horizons, and returning to old favourites, but my heart just was not in it. Perhaps I was searching too often online, and I needed to get out into the real world.

Rave reviews, prize winners – nothing was doing it for me. A few pages in and I would shrug my shoulders – surely, there has to be more to it than just this. I even began to doubt myself. The problem can’t be – me ? Can it?

Then, dear reader, I found it. “The North Water”, by Ian McGuire. From the first line, “Behold the man,” as we meet Drax. Immediately into the physicality of “the complex air,” and we perceive him: snorting, crotch adjusting, finger sucking. Ever alert to his appetites, antenna adjusted to determine which need should be attended. “… the fucking, the killing, the shitting, the eating. They could come in any order at all. No one is prior to or superior to the rest.”

Great writing, great story, superb characters, I am loving this so far. Perhaps after all, I was just searching for … The One.