Straya Day

ALL the beautiful young things are wondering about the place dressed in their swimwear and large Australian flags, so it must be that day again. I was once abused by two bikini wearing teens on this day for not smiling enough (“BE HAPPY! Its Orstrayuh day”) and I will always be grateful that despite the […]

Mormon boys

Lonely Mormons far from home wandering through the great apostasy. Tempted by Coca Cola, shunning coffee and other like beverages, is your truth too good for me? You rush to share it with the pretty Asian girls. Was there nothing on those buried gold plates Elohim wanted you to share with me? I’ll just have […]

Solitaire

Everyone has different reasons that bring them here, but mostly, the differences are superficial. The truth is, man turns to solitaire for one reason – the desire to bring order out of chaos. Not to avoid working on that difficult next draft? No. Who are you? What a trivial response! Katie Holmes. I’m out of […]

Happy Poeday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDGAR ALLAN POE!! Even though you are dead, you are still keeping up the good work, I see. (Everything here blatantly stolen from somebody else, but that’s what good artists do.)   Oh … and this (late entry)

I had a dream …

I had a dream, and it was bloody awful. I blame my younger daughters. They were discussing stress dreams, so then I went off and had one. I was in India, catching a bunch of trains, and every time I was on a platform I saw someone die. People just leaping into trains. I won’t […]

For my vegetarian son, at Christmas …

For my vegetarian son, at Christmas … from something else I used to do … Those of you who have been subscribing to the analytical reports of the Chip Laboratories since ancient times know of our well founded efforts to ethicise (ha! take that, dictionary) omnivorism.  We are trying folks, we really are.  We have put […]