Paper Lace, 1974

I. Billy Be a hero The rest of us will creep out the back Our wives were happy Our kids were happy They didn’t care about Billy After all, their Dads came back.   II. The night Chicago died There was nothing good on TV I went to bed early and missed it all. Dammit!

Attack of the Spider Woman

I awoke the other morning from uneasy dreams to find that, lying in my bed, I had been transformed into a giant insect. In the unearthly morning light, the remnants of a purple mist could be seen, passing through walls and windows.  Not again. There was nothing for it.  Lying on my hard, as it […]

Dream not the impossible dream

News of the bus misadventure in the Canutes caused me to reflect on an incident from my school days. Those of a certain age will remember the tightening of the curriculum, when a scientific fine tooth comb was drawn through the hippy length hair of what in those days passed for the imparting of knowledge to […]

How the Australian Cricket team could FEED THE WORLD

I dream of an ink vampire, draining chinese ideograms, celtic crosses, pictures of dogs, MOM, southern crosses, rebel flags, big boobed naked girls, meaningless epigrams, fanned cards, LOVE, band names, HATE, gothic script, military insignia, stupid lyrics, astrological signs, hula dancers, horned devils, feathered chiefs, bible quotes, affirmations, garish sleeves.  How it thrives now, after […]

Old school anime

MARINE BOY You need your gadgets boy, and how cool they are: rocket propeller shoes electric boomerang oxy gum. But you will never fit in. Everything underwater will always be blurry before your eyes obscuring the truth that the mermaid is never taking you home to meet her parents. You are a fish out of […]

Secret of the Ninja

Ninjas can’t dance Ninjas can’t dance if the music ain’t disco That is their secret limitation, a truth that is a threat to their dignity. It ain’t much. They can still kill and fly and turn invisible and such. Just don’t expect them to bust a move, if it ain’t disco.

Sralya Day

Here’s some culture for Australia Day – get it inta ya. Sralya Day, now its a thing. Not just some dusty public holiday at the fag end of the summer holidays, an extra long weekend for free just to make returning to school easier for Mum and Dad. A thing. With concerts and stuff. Sam […]

Billy Idol might be grappling with himself

Damn fine news. My story, ‘The Penultimate Report of Sergeant Burns’ appeared in the inaugural edition of The Grapple Annual, by which I was rather chuffed. Now my ‘The Golden Age of Science Fiction’ has been included in their second volume (along with 41 other pieces), entitled The Grapple Annual No.2, presently under preparation. Once […]

AUSTRALIA DAY

Given it is a public holiday in Australia it would be un-Australian for me to work, regardless of the fact that I am not there, so I lazily repost my alleged poem that I have posted on previous such occasions. In Australia you can tell when it is Australia Day by all of the people […]

Another strange Australian animal …

Numb-bats Body artfully draped Wrist carefully exposed Window opened just a little A late night pose . Trap wary though jaded Set the scene Lure them in . Room ransacked Car carjacked Best of all that morning Feelings stolen away . Cheap furry buddhas Bodhi-bat-vas Take away nirvahna Delivered every night . Take it all […]